Damned Poetic Justice

[lostmushi]

Blood will come
Through blood.
Every river
Turns quicksand.

A humble feeling
Letters inside.
The trivial mask
Has changed to glass.

The sound
Of her lips,
Without hearing
Words, but worth.

I can't forget
Because I want to.
Burning blood cells,
Not past the heart.

Synthetic innocence,
Damned poetic justice.
The sight of her hands
Closing my eyes.

Never blame death,
But guilty smiles
Bring more of them...

9 ~ 2 ~ '04

[sarafina mable]

"Blood will come
Through blood"
----a fantastic opening image!

"The sound
Of her lips,
Without hearing
Words, but worth"
----i like how in this line you can hear the 'sound' of her lips but not the words. its kinda twisted and great

"Burning blood cells,
Not past the heart.....

...But guilty smiles
Bring more of them..."
----i am utterly confused with these two lines.

your imagery is very good, you're right about that. this one i got really excited at some parts that stood out pretty clear to me, but in a few of the lines it seemed there were just too few words for comprehension. i'm not saying this as a negative or a positive. just some insight.
i like the piece a lot overall.

9 ~ 2 ~ '04[/QB][/QUOTE]

[Hannibal]

^^^^^^
What she said!
I agree, some parts were wonderful imagery.. but some of it just seemed like we weren't given enough to put anything together...
*kinda like a REALLY short trailer for a great movie*

[lostmushi]

hehe, i know, this isn't one of my best, just something i had to write down for myself i think...